


Of Double Dates and Fancy Shit

by its_0n_like_d0nkeyk0ng



Category: South Park
Genre: And Craig just finds him annoying, Clyde is such a dork here, Cussing, F/M, Fluff and Crack, How Do I Tag, M/M, and amusing, idek, mostly annoying though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 20:36:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4235766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_0n_like_d0nkeyk0ng/pseuds/its_0n_like_d0nkeyk0ng
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know what you are Craig?"</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"A homosexual."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Double Dates and Fancy Shit

**Author's Note:**

> Random. This is just random.
> 
> Sorry if this is OOC, it really is just how I roll.
> 
> And sorry for the grammar or spelling mistakes. I try. I really do.-.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the silliness that is Craig's group~

“You know what you are Craig?”

“What?”

“A homosexual.”

Craig Tucker lazily looked at his best friend. “How’d you know?” He asked with a sarcastic tone. 

Clyde Donovan noted Craig’s raised pierced eyebrow and monotone voice as he opened the Tucker’s fridge to take a Yahoo for himself. “Hey now, why so glum? Your homosexual self should be shining and radiating in happiness!”

Craig wasn’t amused in the slightest as Clyde opened the yahoo and took a big gulp from the glass. Right after the action he harshly pulled his lips away from the drink with a grimace on his face.

Now, it was Craig who was amused, “Dude you’re supposed to shake the damn thing first.”

Clyde let out noises of disgust as he examined the glass, “Holy shit dude! You dumbass! This is totes expired!”

Craig mischievously smiled and watched the brown headed teen dump the yahoo into the trash bin, “I’m the dumbass? Psh, yea right. And where in the hell did you hear ‘totes’ from anyway?”

“I’ve been chilling with Bebe for a while now and that seems to be her word. She seriously uses it in almost every sentence.” Clyde explained as he pulled a water bottle seemingly out of nowhere and then proceeded to chug said water bottle in a matter of seconds. The heavily tattooed and pierced teen just silently watched him from the kitchen table as he adjusted his chullo, Clyde’s behavior only seemed to amuse him. 

“Also-” Clyde continued, “I asked her out and she totes said yes. Now were both in relationships! We should go on a double date!”

Craig’s piercing blue eyes narrowed, “I’m still stuck on the whole ‘totes’ thing. Next time I hear you say that, I’m going to go to Bebe and tell her to stop influencing you in the ways of ‘women-speak.’” 

Clyde blinked.

And Craig sighed.

“Dude” Clyde sat down across from Craig, his eyes a wide contrast from the bored blue ones looking into his own chocolate brown. “Double dates.”

Another sigh. “No.”

“But Craaaiiig!” Clyde exclaimed as he put his hands in the air, “We have to! Me and Bebe are heading to the bowling alley! It’d be so much fun!” 

Craig got up from his chair and went into the living room to laze around on the couch. “Tweek and I haven’t even been on our first date yet, man. He’d freak out if we tagged along on yours.”

Clyde followed the taller teen and sat on Mr. Tuckers recliner, “It took me so long to finally ask Bebe out-”

“Same.”

“...Same?” Clyde quirked his eyebrows in a confused manner. “You asked Bebe out to?”

Craig stretched forward and hit Clyde on the shoulder, “You idiot. I was talking about Tweek.”

Clyde nursed his shoulder and sniffed in mock pain. “You didn’t have to hit me. I just got confused there for a sec. Just give me some time bro, I’ll figure it out.”

The blue clad boy rolled his eyes, “Stop being a pussy ‘bro.’ Tweek and I have to have our first date alone.

“You sure?”

Craig snorted and realigned his septum piercing, “Crystal.”

_

 

“What’s wrong darlin’?” Bebe Stevens calmly asked as she patted her kinda\hopefully boyfriend’s head upon her lap. “You seem upset.”

“Ah, it’s nothing...it’s just Craig’s stupid is all.” After Clyde’s failed attempt at a double date, Craig decided that he needed to see Tweek before he took his break at Tweek Bros Coffee. Clyde took this as an opportunity to go to Bebe’s house to talk about their date...and sulk.

“Hmm, I wouldn’t call him stupid...just emotionally impaired” Bebe giggled.

Clyde wasn’t really in the mood to ask the blonde beauty who happened to be petting his hair what ‘emotionally impaired’ even meant, though fortunately he was in the mood to complain. “I asked the big blue giant if him and Tweek would wanna come with us on our date…”

Bebe’s honey eyes widened as her eyebrows rose in slight surprise, “A double date?”

The athlete made a noise of disappointment, “Yea..”

Bebe smiled down at the pouting teen on her lap, her glossy lips glistening as she pulled some of her golden curls behind her pierced ear, “I don’t think Tweek would enjoy being in a bowling alley, especially on his first date. He’d be nervous enough as it is, you know how he is. I just think Craig would want Tweek to be in a more comfortable environment.”

Clyde’s forehead creased in thought, “I’ve never thought about it like that.”

Bebe softly laughed as she lightly fiddled with her red sweaters hem, “You don’t think about a lot of things darlin’.” She started combing her fingers through his hair once more, “Craig might be somewhat of a bully to others but he’s just looking out for Tweekers in his heart.”

Clyde barked out a laugh that didn’t even faze the blonde in the slightest. “Tweekers! Ha!”

Bebe stopped her movements and just let her dainty hand lay on his head, smiling dreamily she said, “I’m excited for our date.”

Clyde looked up and met her honey colored eyes and almost shyly said, “Me to.”

 

-

Craig didn’t hate coffee per se, he just didn’t like the bitter taste of it. He loved the smell of coffee though, mostly because Tweek always smelled like fresh coffee. He wondered what Tweeks lips would taste like. If his mouth was as bitter as the coffee he consumed on a regular basis.

He sure hoped not.

With a sigh of relief, Craig walked into Tweek Bros Coffee, welcoming the warmth and the smell of coffee. Tweek was just taking off his apron as Craig approached the counter, he shrugged before greeting his boyfriend with a deep “Hey.”

“Ah!” The blond spun around to face him, “Craig! I was starting to wonder where you were!” He smiled and filled his thermos with some type of mixed coffee. “You usually come earlier.”

That’s what she said. “Clyde came over to talk about some shit. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

The bright green eyed teen twitched slightly as he put on his coat and gloves, Craig following his lead out the door as Mr. Tweak took over his establishment. “I almost forgot how much I love hazelnut coffee.” Tweek said as he took a sip of his heated beverage, “I should drink some more often..”

Craig let out a hm as he reached for the shorter’s free gloved hand in his own. Tweek blushed a few shades of pink and looked up in the taller boy’s direction. “Craig?”

This gained Craig’s attention, though to be fair he was always on alert with this boy. “Yea?”

The blond twitched, “My house?”

“Sure.”

It only took five minutes to get to Tweek’s house, and when both of the boys were inside of the warm, and to Craig’s delight, coffee scented house, they striped themselves of their heavy coats (Well Tweek did, Craig never did wear coats. Only opting for his blue jacket and his chullo to keep him warm) and gloves and put them in their respected closet near the front door.

“Up to my room then?” Tweek smiled.

Craig could’ve sworn that his heart melted in his chest at the sight. “‘Course.”

-

 

Tweek’s room was spotless, which puzzled the black haired boy at first because of Tweek’s rumpled appearance and his tendency to spaz out and create a mess. While spending more time with him however, he learned that Tweek was more or less a neat freak when it came to his personal things. No wonder that his locker was always spotless and organized, Craig thought.

“So,” Craig began as both teens flopped onto Tweek’s bed. They both laid on their backs until Craig moved onto his side and propped his head up to look down at the blond. The said blond looked up at the hovering boy, he felt calm. Strangely, he could only ever feel this calm with this inked up and pierced giant by his side. His lean muscular body could envelope Tweeks slender and boney frame perfectly. It made Tweek feel safe and secure...and well, calm.

Calm. 

“What do you want to do this friday?” Craig asked as his blue eyes met Tweeks overpowering green ones, and he watched as the smaller boy’s face took on a pretty pink hue.

“F-for our d-date?”

His voice sounded so raspy, so dreamy. This was how Craig affected Tweek, always. Especially when they were alone in their little sanctuary.

Craig only smirked, “Yea.”

Tweek twitched, suddenly feeling the twinge of nervousness. He didn’t know the first thing about dating! “I-I don’t-Agh! Know Craig. Wh-whatever you want i-is fine with...with me.”

Craig’s thick pierced eyebrow quirked up in amusement as he ran his free hand up and down Tweek’s side, making him twitch a few more times. “How about we do something...simple.”

Tweek nodded enthusiastically and put a hand over Craig’s which was still situated on his side. “I like that idea. Simple. Simple’s okay, right?”

Craig smiled, his snakebites following the motion. He muttered a right before he pulled his chullo right off his, Tweek giggled and ran a hand through his crazy hat hair, bony fingers gliding easily through inky black strands. Craig hummed at the feeling and placed his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder and pulled him towards his own body, his towering frame nearly covering Tweek’s own body. Both boys just lazily enjoyed being in the others company and embrace, gently stroking exposed skin and eventually falling into a light sleep.

 

-

“So. How was your date?”

It was Saturday night, and Clyde just got done dropping off Bebe at her house after a day of fun at the bowling alley. “It was the best dude.” Clyde sat down at the other end of the sofa in Craig’s garage, it was their groups hang out destination. “She really is the best, she is the cutest being in existence! I totes impressed her with my mad bowling skills!”

Token laughed as Craig rolled his eyes, both teens playing a game of darts. “Didn’t i warn you about using the word ‘totes’? Now I’m going to have to go to your girlfriend and tell her a ton of embarrassing stories all focused around you.”

“Hey hey hey now” Clyde spoke up in a warning tone as Token’s laughing increased.

“Dude” Token practically wheezed, “I’m just remembering all the shit we could tell Bebe and I just can’t stop!” Token gave up on the dart game and sunk down on a bean bag chair, his laughter still in the air.

Clyde huffed as Craig sinfully smirked and sat down on the opposite side of the couch. He huffed again, “If your gonna do that to me then I’ll tell Tweek about the time you...about that one time you..you…”

Craig’s smirk only grew, “I don’t do shit man. Nice and boring remember?”

Token shook his head in amusement, “You still remember that old saying?”

“Remember it? I still live by that rule!”

Clyde and Token exchanged glances and simultaneously looked back at their Red Racer t-shirt wearing friend. “You’re dating Tweek” Token pointed out, and before Craig could get a word in, Clyde asked “And how did your date go last night?”

Token’s dark eyes widened, “Ah yes, do tell.”

Craig just let the change in conversation slide as a small smile appeared on his face, “You dumbasses...well I mean, it went great. We drove all the way out to a hipsterish restaurant out of town that had a band performing that night, and then we went to Starks Pond for a while until it got too dark out, then we drove around for a while until we had to go back to Tweek’s. That’s about it.”

Clyde raised his eyebrows in curiosity, his eyes taking on a mischievous gleam, “You guys make out?”

Craig’s smile widened, “At Starks Pond, yea. Watched the sun go down, exchange some words and kissed under the fucking stars. That’s some romantic shit right there.”

Token rolled his eyes as Clyde obnoxiously whooped. “That sounds like a lot of driving in one day” The rich boy noted.

A surprised look crossed the blue eyed boys face before he said, “Yea man, Tweek really enjoys car rides with me. Like, he really enjoys them. He gets all touchy.”

This piped Clyde’s interest, “How touchy?”

Craig removed his favored chullo and whacked Clyde with it, all the other boy did was laugh. “It’s innocent touches you douche. He likes to touch my hand and shit. Though as soon as were out of the car he goes straight for me, car rides get him goin’ guys, I’m tellin’ ya.”

I don’t really think it’s the car ride so much as the boy in the car with him, Token thought as he embarrassingly shook his head, though Clyde’s face was openly filled with a mixture of amazement and wonder towards his friend. “Dude. You got it so good! Bebe only let me kiss her at the end of the date. I’m totes jelly.”

“...”

At Craig’s ‘Are you fucking serious’ face, Token burst out laughing again. Clyde’s clueless face looked between both of his best friends before locking onto Craig, “What?”

Craig let out a gruff “Are you serious?”

Clyde almost whined, “What am I supposed to be serious about?”

“You’re ‘totes jelly’?”

“Well ye-oh.”

“Oh?”

“I said it again.”

“You did.”

“...”

“...”

Clyde suddenly smirked, “Was he a good kisser?”

Without missing a beat Craig answered “The best.”

Clyde whistled “Duuuuude” and both teens proceeded to high five the other while poor Token watched the scene and facepalmed. 

“And I also want to note” Craig said with a raised hand, “That Tweek tasted fairly sweet and not at all like a bitter taste I feared he would taste like.” He looked towards a blushing Token, “I think it’s because he puts all kinds of fancy shit in his coffee.”

Token awkwardly shuffled in his seat, he didn’t really want to know what Tweek tasted like. Clyde’s eyebrows rose in surprise, “He puts actual shit in his coffee! If you knew that then why in the fuck did you make out with him?”

Token and Craig groaned in slight frustration.

“Clyde that isn’t what he meant.”

“You’re a dumbass. Dumbass.”

Clyde took no note to their responses. “What would fancy shit even look like? And where did he get it?”

“Clyde?”

“Yea?”

“Shut the hell up.”

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what you think!


End file.
